


Breathing's Just A Rhythm

by TheHotdagaIsTrueArt



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter had a hard time after infinity war, Peter is alive tho, Seriously don't read if you haven't seen the movie y'all, Tony Stark Has A Heart, and he gets a hug, so that's always nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:32:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHotdagaIsTrueArt/pseuds/TheHotdagaIsTrueArt
Summary: Peter has had a tough time since coming back from the fight against Thanos.





	Breathing's Just A Rhythm

**Author's Note:**

> There are spoilers in here! Title is from "One More Time With Feeling" By Regina Spektor. Enjoy!

The fight against Thanos had been won, the people he had killed had resurrected, and most of the population had no memory of any of the deaths. It had been the last act done with the Reality Stone before locking the stones away. Very few remembered, and those who did were either Avengers or important government personnel. Lives were returned to normal, civilians remembered an attack on Earth, but believed that there had been no complications in winning against Thanos. This wasn’t the case for one Peter Parker. 

Peter remembered the whole ordeal very vividly. He remembered being rocketed up towards space on the side of the ship, losing air, adrenaline rushing through his veins, he remembered being so damn close to being sucked out into space, being pulled towards what would probably mean the end of him. He remembered fighting Thanos, not even having a moment to slow down to wonder if he would survive, and he remembered dying.

He remembered crumbling away, fading as if he had never been there in the first place. He remembered realizing that Mr. Stark couldn’t save him, that the genius was just a man, and couldn’t fight the power of the infinity stones. He had apologized. He knew it would hurt Mr. Stark to see him die, and he felt bad, he still did because everytime the man looked at him, there was a flash of something, something like grief, that Peter hated being the cause of. 

Peter remembered it all and it was slowly, agonizingly destroying him. 

He was back physically, but it didn’t feel like it. His mind was constantly being drawn back to Titan, to dying, to space, to everything that had happened. He couldn’t escape it. He couldn’t sleep without constant nightmares waking him up in a cold sweat, more often than not the nightmares would also send him to the nearest wastebasket to throw up. He didn’t really sleep anymore. He was surviving on the amounts he got when he was tired enough to sleep dreamlessly for a short time - an hour if he was lucky. He wasn’t hungry anymore either, more often than not he was nauseated. When he did eat, he was lucky if a nightmare or anxiety attack didn’t bring it back up. He was tired in every sense of the word.

Peter was falling apart, there was no other way to say it (though he wished there was, because “falling apart” made him think of fading away like back on Titan when he, you know, died). He was restless and exhausted at the same time. He was jumpy and nervous. He couldn’t focus and was constantly losing his train of thought. His grades were slipping, which hadn’t happened in a long time. On one occasion, he had been having a conversation with Dr. Banner when he stopped mid-sentence and left the room. Bruce had been terribly confused and Tony had found the whole situation hilarious. (He found it hilarious until Peter passed out working with him in his workshop and set his sleeve on fire. Then he sent Peter to take a nap, which Peter decidedly did not do.) 

Everyone was concerned about Peter. May tried to get him to talk but didn’t get much out of him. Ned and M.J. did their best to let Peter know that he was not alone, and they cared about him, but didn’t want to push anything. Peter’s teachers were concerned, too, and May could only think up so many excuses. Tony had tried to get Peter to talk, but that had been unsuccessful. When he had gently prompted Peter to talk about how he was feeling, the boy had stared at him blankly for a moment before changing the subject. Tony still wasn’t sure if it was intentional, or if Peter really hadn’t known that Tony was trying to talk about what had happened. No one knew how to handle it, and everyone walked on eggshells when it came to Peter. 

That changed one weekend when Peter was staying at the Avengers Compound. It was a month after the fight with Thanos, and May had been called out of town for work, so rather than just spend a few hours with Tony, Peter would be spending the long weekend with him. He had stayed at the Compound overnight before, so it wasn’t particularly new, but he used to be excited about getting to spend time at the Avengers Facility. This time Peter could barely muster a fake smile when May told him. Tony had been hoping that Peter would be more willing to open up and talk if it was just them, and they had more time together, but luck was not on his side.

When he got to the Compound, Peter had only mumbled a quiet “Thanks for letting me stay here,” Rather than his usual excited ramblings about school and what he wanted to do in the workshop. Tony invited Peter to come work in his private workshop with him, which always got Peter to perk up a bit, even after the war, but this time it had no effect. Peter just replied with “Okay Mr. Stark.” Tony was at a loss. 

After an agonizing half-hour where Tony tried again and again to engage Peter in some sort of conversation (he had asked about everything from school to legos, with only nods or mumbles in response) Tony finally smacked his screwdriver down on the counter. 

“What’s going on, kid?” His voice was firm, but not angry.

Peter glanced up from across the counter. “Nothing.”

“Yeah, you’re a great actor, you deserve an Oscar. Try again.” He rounded the counter so he was standing in front of Peter. “What is going on?”

“Nothing!” Peter didn’t sound convincing even to himself. “I’m fi-”

Tony cut him off. “No. No, the next word out of your mouth better not be fine, kid, because it is clear that you are not fine. Have you looked at any remotely reflective surface lately? You have bags under your eyes darker than I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen college kids before finals. You can’t hold a conversation for more than a few sentences, you wander aimlessly, May says that you just pass out now and then, you look like a ghost, you’re pale, and I don’t know if you’ve been eating!” He took a deep breath to stop himself from yelling. “You’re destroying yourself, Peter, and it’s pretty damn clear that ignoring that won’t help anything. Talk to me.”

Peter stared at his mentor, shock written all over his face. He knew he hadn’t been very healthy lately, but this made it all too real. “I’m sorry.” His voice cracked. “I just…” How was he supposed to finish that sentence? 

Tony sighed. “Come here, kiddo.” He pulled Peter into a hug. “What you’re doing here? It’s not okay. You need to talk to people. You need to sleep and to eat. Let’s just… Let’s go one thing at a time.” He pulled up a stool next to Peter’s. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

Peter swallowed hard before speaking. “Nightmares. I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s not,” Tony reassured. “I’ve had some pretty realistic and awful ones myself. It’s not stupid.”

Peter nodded and wiped at a tear that had slid down his cheek. “I just can’t let go of… of everything that happened and every time I try to sleep I’m back on Titan. But it’s not just that, I have nightmares about old stuff, too. About Ben, and the Vulture, and about things that haven’t even happened. And I feel so alone, you know? Because no one really remembers it.”

“You’re not alone though.” Tony ruffled Peter’s hair. “You have me, and all the other Avengers would be happy to talk to you. I know for a fact that Thor adores you. Bruce thinks you’re great, too. They all do.”

“But you guys have better things to do. More important things.” Peter’s shoulders slumped even more if that was possible. 

“Nothing is more important than you, kid,” Tony replied with certainty. “And if you’re that worried about it I’ll create an anonymous poll to find out.” He raised an eyebrow. “Do you want that?”

“No.” Peter had a slight smile on his face.

“Good.” Tony smiled back, then became serious once more. “What about the not eating?”

“I just feel sick all the time, and if I have nightmares or anxiety attacks I throw up, so…” Peter trailed off.

“So it’s easier to not eat.” Tony finished for him. “I did the same thing after the Chitauri invasion. It’s easier to not eat than to throw up. But it isn’t healthy.” He thought for a minute. “I think we need to start by figuring out what you can hold down, be it protein shakes or rice, and then find you a therapist. Your enhanced metabolism makes the whole not eating thing even trickier. I don’t know how you’ve survived this long.”

“I do eat, just not like… a lot.” Peter said, half to defend himself and half to reassure Tony. They were both quiet for a moment. “Mr. Stark…”

“It’s Tony," He corrected with a slight smile, "and yeah kid?”

“Tony…” Peter shifted, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. “Ever since everything with Thanos… you look at me like I’m dying, and I know I don’t look great right now but, I dunno, it’s kind of upsetting I guess? And so maybe, if you want me to see a therapist, you should see one, too.” Peter looked at the floor, not wanting to see if he had upset Tony.

Tony grinned. “I think you’re right kid. I’ve gone to therapy before, it’s actually pretty cool.” Then he sighed. “Yeah, I’m sorry about making you feel that way, I’m just… I care about you a lot, bud. And losing you would be the worst thing I could imagine. It was the worst thing. I’m just worried about you.”

Peter scuffed a shoe against the workshop’s floor. “I worry about you, too, Mr. Stark. That’s what you do when you’re family.”

“Family?” Tony smiled.

“Oh, well, I mean,” Peter stammered. 

Tony grinned, there was the old Peter. “I’m teasing you, kid. Come here.” He pulled Peter into a hug. “We are definitely family. Which means you can’t get rid of me.”

“And you can’t get rid of me.” Was Peter’s response.

And in that moment, despite the fact that they both knew it would be quite a while before things were back to normal, despite everything that had happened, everything was alright.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been reading Spider-Man fics on here quite often for the last year, and finally decided to contribute. I hope you enjoyed this, I'm always open to constructive criticism and would love to know how you felt about this!


End file.
